The Scapegoat and the Witch: Family Roles and Truth Telling
Download MP3There are certain stories that don’t just entertain us. They reach into something deeper. They touch the parts of us that remember what it felt like to be misunderstood, misrepresented, or cast into a role we never chose. Watching Wicked brought me face to face with something familiar: the experience of being the scapegoat in a dysfunctional family system.
In this episode of Born Tired: Where Survival Meets Healing, I reflect on the emotional parallels between Elphaba’s story and what it means to grow up as the child who notices everything. The one who sees the tension no one talks about, recognizes the inconsistencies, and feels the emotional undercurrent inside the room long before anyone says it out loud. And how, in many families, the person who tells the truth becomes the problem.
I talk about the scapegoat archetype, emotional neglect, projection, and the loneliness of being positioned as “too much” for reacting to something that was real. The experience of growing up in environments where accurate perception is treated like defiance, and how that shapes the nervous system long after childhood ends. The hypervigilance, self-doubt, over-explaining, and the deep longing to simply be believed.
This episode also explores the grief that comes with being unsupported by the people you hoped would defend you. The ache of invisibility. The reality of going no contact and stepping outside of family roles that required silence in order to survive. I reflect on how scapegoating functions inside dysfunctional systems, and why the person who disrupts denial often becomes the one blamed for the discomfort of others.
At the same time, this conversation is about what healing looks like after that role no longer defines you. The difference between shame and grief. The shift from needing validation to developing self-trust. And what it means to stop organizing your life around proving your reality to people committed to misunderstanding you.
Because healing doesn’t always look like being redeemed by the people who hurt you. Sometimes it looks like releasing the need to be rewritten into someone else’s version of acceptable. Sometimes it looks like building a life outside of the narrative entirely.
And maybe the most powerful realization of all is this:
Being misunderstood does not mean you were wrong.
Gentle Reminder:
This podcast includes conversations about trauma, family dynamics, mental health, estrangement, eating disorders, and lived experiences. Listener discretion is advised.
🤍 Support the podcast:
Buy Me a Coffee — https://buymeacoffee.com/mzd5yc89kkk
📌 Follow me:
Instagram: @borntiredpodcast
Threads: @borntiredpodcast
TikTok: @borntiredpodcast
Substack: https://substack.com/@borntiredpodcast
Credits:
Written & narrated by Eirene Torres
Audio production by Carlos Torres
Original music by Carlos Torres
Disclaimer:
Born Tired is a personal storytelling podcast based on lived experience. This content is not a substitute for professional mental health care and does not provide medical or clinical advice. If you are struggling or in crisis, please consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional or local support services.
In this episode of Born Tired: Where Survival Meets Healing, I reflect on the emotional parallels between Elphaba’s story and what it means to grow up as the child who notices everything. The one who sees the tension no one talks about, recognizes the inconsistencies, and feels the emotional undercurrent inside the room long before anyone says it out loud. And how, in many families, the person who tells the truth becomes the problem.
I talk about the scapegoat archetype, emotional neglect, projection, and the loneliness of being positioned as “too much” for reacting to something that was real. The experience of growing up in environments where accurate perception is treated like defiance, and how that shapes the nervous system long after childhood ends. The hypervigilance, self-doubt, over-explaining, and the deep longing to simply be believed.
This episode also explores the grief that comes with being unsupported by the people you hoped would defend you. The ache of invisibility. The reality of going no contact and stepping outside of family roles that required silence in order to survive. I reflect on how scapegoating functions inside dysfunctional systems, and why the person who disrupts denial often becomes the one blamed for the discomfort of others.
At the same time, this conversation is about what healing looks like after that role no longer defines you. The difference between shame and grief. The shift from needing validation to developing self-trust. And what it means to stop organizing your life around proving your reality to people committed to misunderstanding you.
Because healing doesn’t always look like being redeemed by the people who hurt you. Sometimes it looks like releasing the need to be rewritten into someone else’s version of acceptable. Sometimes it looks like building a life outside of the narrative entirely.
And maybe the most powerful realization of all is this:
Being misunderstood does not mean you were wrong.
Gentle Reminder:
This podcast includes conversations about trauma, family dynamics, mental health, estrangement, eating disorders, and lived experiences. Listener discretion is advised.
🤍 Support the podcast:
Buy Me a Coffee — https://buymeacoffee.com/mzd5yc89kkk
📌 Follow me:
Instagram: @borntiredpodcast
Threads: @borntiredpodcast
TikTok: @borntiredpodcast
Substack: https://substack.com/@borntiredpodcast
Credits:
Written & narrated by Eirene Torres
Audio production by Carlos Torres
Original music by Carlos Torres
Disclaimer:
Born Tired is a personal storytelling podcast based on lived experience. This content is not a substitute for professional mental health care and does not provide medical or clinical advice. If you are struggling or in crisis, please consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional or local support services.
